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October 29 2017

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phebobuffay:

Gina’s countdown technique 👏

tehzii:

thelibrawrian:

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story.

a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?”

“uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.”

“ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?”

i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?”

to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-”

i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.

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autohaste:

scrlett:

This is ….so true?

LMFAO

Reposted byirmelinolivierkinina

goldkarat:

doing risky shit because you lowkey wanna die

ammit420:

my blog’s cancelled you gotta come to my house n listen to me talk

roguejedis:

saddest seven word story: cold one with the boys, never cracked

rosebeaches:

i like to pretend i don’t give a fuck but honestly i don’t think i’ve ever not given a fuck in my whole life

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oatbee:

*pokes bruise* where did you come from?

ackermom:

julius caesar’s assassination was the last time everyone in a group project did their part

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nevaehtyler:

lmaooo they ain’t lying

l3asileus:

preschooler:

restik:

preschooler:

Tfw u hook up with someone n then u can smell them on u for the rest of the day but in a good way

I literally wore the same shirt today because of this

Me too lmao. I love ur smell

Can y'all use the new message system.

10inchflaccid:

neutraldankhotel:

10inchflaccid:

neutraldankhotel:

you: *eats 100 ears of corn in two hours* I am the corn king! I cannot be outcorned

me: *eats 101 ears of corn in ten minutes* just another day in the corn fields

what?

I don’t know. i woke up at 6am, wrote this, and went back to sleep

hope youre okay

deonte-s:

chubbymermaid87:

deonte-s:

did you know that the letters in LA stand for:

  • Los
  • Angeles

Is this for real?

I promise

charlieyousuck:

Not gonna lie I ain’t doing too well my dudes

Lesbian Asks!

butchwookiee:

  1. Femme or butch?
  2. Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it
  3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?
  4. Describe your style
  5. Describe your aesthetic
  6. Favorite article of clothing?
  7. Favorite pair of shoes?
  8. Current haircut?
  9. Any haircut goals for the future?
  10. Describe the best date you’ve been on
  11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on
  12. Single? Taken?
  13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!
  14. If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?
  15. Describe your dream wedding
  16. Do you want kids?
  17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
  18. Favorite lesbian movie?
  19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?
  20. Favorite lesbian song?
  21. Favorite lesbian musician?
  22. What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?
  23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?
  24. If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?
  25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?
  26. Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?
  27. Turn ons?
  28. Turn offs?
  29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?
  30. What is your dream career?
  31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!
  32. What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?
  33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?
  34. Ever fallen for your best-friend?
  35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?
  36. The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)
  37. Favorite comfort food?
  38. Coffee or tea?
  39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?
  40. Do you have any pets?
  41. Early-riser or night-owl?
  42. What is your sign?
  43. Can you drive?
  44. Who was your first lesbian crush?
  45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?
  46. At what age did you come out (if you have)?
  47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?
  48. Talk about how your day went
  49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future
  50. Least favorite gay celebrity?

midtown120blues:

I asked my co-worker who’s show we’re working today and he said “I don’t know some fuckin children’s band” and it was imagine dragons

October 28 2017

raphaeliscoolbutrude:

writing-prompt-s:

“In a game with no consequences, why are you still playing the ‘Good’ side?”

Because being mean makes me feel bad.

October 27 2017

mrpibb:

takawaste:

Not to be rude but naruto would run so much faster if he used his arms like a normal person

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