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August 25 2017

ronibravo:

today my gf said “when donkey asks shrek what his name is, shrek pauses before he says shrek, and i’m convinced he came up with it on the spot.” we weren’t even talking about shrek. i can’t stop thinking about it or about how lucky i am to be with her

feuilletoniste:

fartgallery:

starbucks barista: ive got a caffe mocha for… “russian spy”?

everybody: [remains seated and eyes each other suspiciously]

barista [throwing his CIA badge at the floor in defeat]: dammit i thought for sure that would work

#pretty sure america tried this during the Cold War

robbiercyes:

so apparently cnn now has a clock counting how long it’s been since trump has attacked someone on twitter

image

and all it did was remind me of this

image

surprisebitch:

violet-official:

maxiesatanofficial:

sleep is homophobic because it means 6-8 fewer hours per day that I can do gay shit

sleep is a gay ally because it gives me 6-8 hours every day where i don’t have to do anything

being able to relate to both is gay culture

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scottish:

raikou:

raikou:

i want to kno more about kink manifestation tbh like what makes ppl think the weirdest things are hot. like is there any reason to it? is it just getting bored with everything normal idek

england what did you unleash

i cant believe the english are responsible for vore

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5by5brittana:

Relatable

imloverenamon:

who here is

  1. a gay cryptid
  2. a supporter of gay cryptids

A normal D&D session, but you can't use...

tsutachishio:

tillaneesia:

cullenscott:

Dice

prove to me that you can make this acrobatics check by successfully performing a triple backflip off the kitchen counter in real life

“Can I seduce the goblin?” “I don’t know, can you seduce me?”
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soggiefries:

alt-and-black:

thecrazytowncomics:

No One Forced You To Get Married

one of my coworkers said something like this and it made me think about married culture in the US. his wife had been out of town for the week and he was really excited to go home and see her and we asked if they were doing something special, and he was like “No??? I just missed my best friend.”

the comment above is the cutest thing in the world

faserkind:

always remember: it doesn’t matter how good you are as a knitter nor how long you’ve been knitting nor how many times you’ve had to start a project over, molly weasley would be very proud of you and your handmade knits

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oswinsoswald:

“Do you just crook your finger and people jump in your snog box and fly away?” [ x ]

n-haught:

drunk!me left sober!me a sticky note on my fridge that just says “wynonna derp” and honestly I’m not sure what I meant but I smell a great new screencap series

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the-collecting-turnip:

sixpenceee:

This Nile crocodile shows off his ability to stand on its hind legs to reach for a live bird on a stick being fed to it by villagers. From here

You fools! They’ll learn to walk upright! 

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okssure:

cream-in-your-coffee:

This would literally be me

me

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silver-tongues-blog:

raptor-rider:

thebibliosphere:

deliriumsetin:

thebibliosphere:

progressivefriends:

This happened. 

The international space station willing to make sacrifices none else would. That is some Star Trek level of tolerance.

Either that or they plan to push him out an airlock when no ones looking…

Still counts.

It went from Star Trek level of tolerance to star wars level of tolerance

you know what they say. if two guys were on the moon and all that

dailyjackiechan:

cashiers don’t actually care what you buy you could buy a fork a toaster and a bath plug and i wouldnt notice all i’m thinking abt is “in five min it will be one hour until two hours before i can go home”

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